Christmas is near

Christmas is near, and I find myself watching the Polar Express for the second time with the children i am babysitting.  I’ve decided that im not ready to bear(bare?) children anytime soon.  Not because of any child specifically, but all of them combined.  All of their impatient gestures and illogical thinking patterns.  and they’re so darn selfish.  And perhaps so am i, which is another reason as to why i am not ready for them.  They are so cute though!  maybe it will be different when i have my own, fruit of my loin sort of thing. 

 So it’s already flippin December 20th…!! What a do What a do…

Contrary to normal college students, I left home for the holidays.  Although I’ll be spending Christmas and the surrounding days at home, I moved out all my stuff last week.  haha i felt so awkward because my paradigm is totally screwed up.  All my friends were so excited about going home for the holidays and I was excited to be moving out! ha this semester has def been rough commuting to school from home.  It will be nice to walk to campus again.

As for the anticipation of Christmas, it still remains, after all these years! I remember not being able to sleep as a child because images of opening my presents entered and reentered my mind throughout the night.  For weeks preceding I could barely resist peeking under the wrapping paper.  Although the past 2 years+ I’ve been a beast waking up Christmas morning, don’t let the guise fool you.  Im super stoked!

 Merry Christmas! 

Brennan

Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time with my friend brennan. yes, our names are similar;)

 It is Christmas break and he is here until thursday because he has to work, and i am quite grateful bc i would have been running all my errands by myself. 

 I just moved into a house with some girls and he helped. totally sweet of him.  This post is dedicated to him and his sweetness.  Contrary to mother’s belief, though, we are just friends, and always have been.  No hint of romantic connect.  Which is fine, because we are such good friends and probably wouldn’t have remained so unless our friendship remained unhindered by romantic notions.

We both love to wander and dream, and often i wonder if either of us are going to actually do antying about the things we rant about.  I know we will.

 Tonight I read him a story i had written while in KC, and he was astonished.  Do you ever get super happy when someone likes something youve done?  Well, I encountered that moment.  He said I should publish it and then that we should write a screenplay together.  That is a real compliment,coming from him, just because he is pretty good with those sorts of things.  In reality, I didn’t know for sure if i was a good writer or not, and was actually wanting to ask my previous english teacher what she thought.  I still am not sure, but i am that much more confident because i trust in brennans compliment and i know he is a good talent scout;)

I realized i had not written in a while and i need to just get over the fear of it ‘not being as good as i can do’.  I need to just sit down and live through my words. 

bc thats what i do best.