Seeking Freedom

Today I learned how to put a diaper on a baby, not by visual means, but trial and error. You see, I erred.  I babysat 4 kids yesterday, one of which being an infant and the mother told me today in church of the startling news of my error…FOUR times I changed that babies diaper and everytime I thought it was odd to put the adhesive part from the front onto the back.  I bowed my head in shame.  They thought it was funny.

My heart is still in turmoil.

But, I’ve been praying for the will of the Lord to be established in my life and it to be revealed to me as well. It is truly a desire of my heart to live in alignment with God’s will, and if that means losing someone dear to me, then I know the Lord has marvelous plans that can adhere that much more hope to my chest. 

I’m also seeking first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness(Matt 6:33).Firstly, by figuring out what in the world that means. I’ve got an idea, but I plan on delving into that one, along with:

Being poor in spirit(Matt 5).

Hopefully my incessant running to the bible rather than any other thing Satan can supply will maintain a sanity in me, sustaining my breath and vitality. 

As for now though, it’s really hard to trust in the Lord.  I can say all the things I’m studying and all the things the Lord says, but it really is going to take me for real trusting in him, because I CAN’T do this on my own.  His will for my life I know is good, but right now it’s ridiculously cloudy around here. I can’t see anything ahead and I certainly can’t put anything together as turning out good.  The Lord has to ordain my steps because I have not a clue what I’m doing on this planet.